Recently, I have experimented with being in a place of not knowing and what shows up in my life. The other night, walking back from work I felt the urge to write what was coming up for me. I stopped on a bench on Orchard road and here is what I wrote in the moment:
“Nothing starts until I surrender to not knowing.
When I am in a place of knowing:
I feel knowing limits me in so many ways...
I hesitate talking to people I do not know, beautiful girls, people with powerful energy
I get all shaken up when things I really want to happen do not...why?...I had planned it all in my head :)
I take ownership of decisions that are not mine
I make so many assumptions, what if...
When running my business, I try to forecast all the situations and prepare as much as I can...yet how much of that is restricting my vision?
When I interact with others; how much of me is really showing up, how much is fake and what I am hanging on too?
Decisions...all these decisions I make every day, why are they so hard to make? What do I really need to know to make them? Don't I have everything already available to me to make them?
When I am in the knowing I am not including others...I think I am, yet it is all based on my perspective...
Not knowing, to me, brings:
When I am in a place of not knowing, I focus, I listen, I am me, I show up, everything becomes possible :)
The possibility to love...people for what they are and how they are showing up...situations I am in now (they only happen once, so why not notice them) ...myself now (the only version of me that truly exists)
Balance...my mind is calm...aware and open
The time to slow down...I am an observer and actor in the moment, it is easy to do both at the same time
So many perspectives that I cannot count them...there is so much more out there
Beauty...I am surrounded by beautiful things, landscapes and people...they feed me with their energy and insights
Freedom...to exist and share magical moments, to fully embrace the time that I have to experiment with life
Not knowing awakens my curiosity
Not knowing enlightens me”